For the past few months, I haven’t been able to cook that well. Nothing that I’ve produced in my kitchen has been exciting, and I’ve been making a lot more careless mistakes than I used to.
I’ve started to notice that the quality of my cooking reflects how I’m feeling inside on a given day. When I’m confident that I’m doing the right things with the rest of my life, I’m focused when I’m in the kitchen. My meats come out of the oven at the right temperature, and I sprinkle just enough salt into the pan to wake up the flavors of the ingredients. And when I’m thoroughly shaken up and no longer sure of myself, my chicken breasts are overcooked, my scallops are rubbery, and my salt shaker runs out faster than it really should (sorry Brady).
During the semester, I am (we are) so caught up with schoolwork, student organizations, and part time jobs that I don’t have time to take a step back and reflect on who I am and what I’m trying to achieve. I just ruthlessly execute items from a daily task list. I’m like that in the kitchen during the year, too. “Cook dinner” ends up on that task list, and I open up one of my many treasured cookbooks and execute each line with focus and confidence.
And then all of the sudden during the summer, there’s time to relax and look at myself in a third person perspective. There’s time to hang out with friends after a long day at work, and there’s also time to sit in my room alone and think.
And I’ll start to experiment a little more in the kitchen and try out the things I see on Iron Chef America or in upscale restaurants - like buying fiddlehead ferns, or deep frying brussel sprout leaves Bobby Flay style. Things do not come out picture perfect.
Today, I woke up feeling incredibly unsure of myself - I’m not sure where I’m going to take my career, what my agenda will look like in 3 weeks, and whether or not I’ve been as good to the people I care about the most as I thought.
I’m cooking for a very important person tonight. The menu will include citrus - cajun grilled shrimp, grilled fillet mignon steaks with a tomato tarragon dressing, and chicken marinated with yogurt, ginger, cumin, coriander, and chiles.
Please wish me luck.
Next stop: Megu Midtown
